People (like Jonas, Magnus and Marcus) have told me that I can be frustrating to work with. That’s because I’m a stubborn know-it-all that likes to push my “better” knowing on everyone else.

That’s not the person I want to be. I still think that I have a few good ideas I should share, but being aggravating while doing it is not very productive. Another thing is that I’m realizing as I get older that I care more and more about people enjoying working with me, and less and less about being right.

I recently went to a two week ThoughtWorks course in India. When my coach on the course told me that he thought I had done very well, but that I had been a bit confrontational a few occasions, I realized that something has to change.

So what I have done is this:

By my laptop, I now keep a little Buddha statue. I’m not a buddhist. I just use this powerful symbol as a reminder to myself that humble and calm goes a long way. Whenever I find that I’m getting annoyed or I get the urge to prove someone wrong, I reach out and touch the statue.

So far it has worked better than I hoped it would. I’m by no means a totally changed man, but it’s helping me relate to colleagues in a more constructive and efficient way. Another good thing is that people ask me about it, and I can bring the subject up naturally. It allows me to warn the person that I have a problem I’m working on, and what they can do to help me (let me know when I’m being an ass).

Posted by Andres on Thursday, November 16th, 2006 at 14:52.